The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Am I Going to Hell?

Very funny and very embarassing story. For a Reform Jew, I'm rather observant, a bit less than before my illness but still doing my darnedest. So, as Passover approached, I checked my handy Jewish holiday chart for the precise date on which I should start observing. As usually, I stopped eating leavened bread and bread-like products (or things that levitate as Judy says) in time for the holiday. I kept this up for eight days...but the WRONG eight days. It seems my handly chart was off by two days. As I was rather busy with work, friends visiting, food poisoning, etc., I never bothered to double check the dates until tonight when I wanted to make very sure that I ended the holiday precisely as scheduled (a paranoid habit I picked up after nearly missing Rosh Hashanah one year due to a similar problem). So, I actually ate bread for the first two days of Passover. That's right, I was rolling in chametz on the Holy Days! I'm going to hell. Wait! We don't have hell! So, I'll be consigned to an iffy neighborhood in the World to Come. I think I can live with that or be dead or undead or whatever with that.

I just hope I can live down the embarassment when I tell EVERYONE I know how blonde I've been. Yes, I HAVE to tell them. Funny stories should never be kept secret.

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