The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Monday, November 19, 2007


If you have virgin eyes, look! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I have Raynaud's phenomenon in addition to the Prinzmetal's syndrome. Yay for me! I get to have spasms in all of my arteries and red, white and blue hands and feet. It's like my extremities have developed some sick patriotic bullshit! And did I mention the oh so lovely cramping pains in my legs? Wonderful!

Right about now, my cardiovascular system can suck my fucking dick. And I'm not just talking about the heart. I'm talking about the whole fucking thing. The heart, arteries, veins, capillaries, ALL OF IT! My whole fucking cardiovascular system can suck my fucking dick! And not the little dick I bought because it was cute! No. No. No. The big, hulking cock with the glow in the dark alien on the side that I call Mulder. Okay, so I don't actually have any dicks, but if I did, my cardiovascular system would be sucking them right now!

Anyway, no new pills. The old ones are just what the doctor ordered, literally. But I get to watch out for a whole new set of symptoms and bundle up all nice and cozy like a fucking child every time I go outside. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!


Blogger Stacey said...

Fuck it! Fuck all of it!

Mississippians for Fucking Melinda's Heart. I'm the chapter president.


6:39 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

Oooooh You said a bad word. I'm telling.

Thanks babe. I feel like so much hell warmed over I don't think I can describe it. It really helps to laugh.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

I usually don't say "fuck" on the internet. Most of the time it's only in my car when someone cuts me off. But fuck it. All bets are off when friends need support.

11:43 PM  
Blogger sinister_n_evil said...

dammit... I have been behind in my blog reading and rob told me....

damn that sucks...and you didn't get to come home to visit either...

What the hell is your body trying to do to itself.... seriously... you have some kind of inner bio civil war happening and your hart and its plumbing is going on strike...

you are in my thoughts and prayers... stay warm...

5:11 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

Thanks. The only good thing that comes of this is now I have a good excuse to go back to the big kickass boots I used to wear b/c they're warmer and waterproof. I just bought a pair yesterday. I'm going shopping today for another pair if I can find one.

It sucks that I didn't get to come home. I'm looking at when I can arrange a trip. Christmas is out because that week has already been claimed by too many people in my office. It'll probably be cheaper after the New Year anyway. We'll see.

5:39 AM  

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