The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

I'm in Trouble

I have been talking to a young lady on the bus to work for the last few months. She's got the nerdy-sexy thing going on in spades.

Okay, physically, she's stunning. Gorgeous, full, shiny reddish blonde hair. (I think. I don't see shades of color very well.) Cute black-framed oval glasses. Full lips. Great smile. Beautiful eyes. Curves! She's got enough meat on her bones that you wouldn't have to worry abut breaking her, but everything's in just the right places.

She's also intelligent and funny and groan, she likes girls. Yesterday , I found out that she reads fantasy, grew up on sci-fi, knows the difference between the two genres, and plays Magic: The Gathering. She's only played D&D once, but I won't hold that against her. She actually thought it was interesting and cool that I might be going to a Jewish sci-fi trivia night tomorrow in DC.

Perfect. Just perfect. I meet the perfect woman and she's too young, out of my league and found me right when I've given up on dating for good. I'm not sure how old she is, but she's at most 25 from the looks of her. I'm 31. And to be honest, I'm generally happy with the no dating thing. You wouldn't believe how freeing it is to not have to worry about pursuing and impressing and winning over someone when you're tired all the time and your social skills are limited to say the least. Depending on how hard I'm trying to be sociable, I come off as either aloof and unapproachable or so silly that women don't take me seriously as a romantic partner. (One literally laughed at me when I asked her out because she thought it was another of my sillly jokes. Another said yes just to see, in her words, if I was "really that stuck up.")

So, I would like to hang out with her at least, because she's pretty cool and I need a new set of nerds. My old set of nerds is utterly irreplaceable but they're too far away for regular nerdy fun. Most of the people I've met here, well, let's just say that everything they know about elves they learned from Keebler commercials and Santa Claus cartoons. But how do I hang out with her without giving into my urge to flirt or to ask her back to the elven kingdom for a pint of mead and a little "Medieval adventuring in the Land of Bed"? How do I even ask her to hang out without it sounding like I'm asking her for a little "Medieval adventuring in the Land of Bed"?

Life sucks. I miss the game world.


Blogger Rob the Webkahunah said...


Despite rumors to the contrary, asking someone to say meet you for coffee and some sci-fi chat does not mean you want to bed them!

Find something nerdy to do and ask her to join you. Explain that you don't have many nerd friends, and would rather go with someone who appreciates it. Flirt if you feel the urge to do so, or you'll explode.

The kahunah hath spoken.

6:25 AM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

We'll see. But I don't think I'll explode from not flirting. Of course, I don't think I've ever tried not flirting, so who knows?

7:16 AM  

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