The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Interview

I've agreed, silly me, to be interviewed by RPP. Here are the answers.

1.) who was your first love?
Depends.

First woman I crushed on: my Sunday school teacher when I was 7. I'd stare at her legs and the curve of her hips over my King James. (Yep. I read the King James when I was 7.)

First kiss: A.J. I was 9. She was 7. She was my friend Michelle's younger sister. We were playing hospital in the shed/playroom. Her sister was the nurse. A.J. was my "boyfriend" come to visit me. I liked it so much, I never bothered to point out that I was SO much butcher than she was. We spent waaaaaay too much time showing off our "athletic skills." Really, who has skills at 7 or 9?

First girl I asked out and "thought" I was in love with: Stephanie. Total hottie. Best friend. Took 3 months to answer. Said no. Got mad when I dated someone else.

First woman I truly loved: Deborah. We met in college and hung in the same crowds, two different ones overlapped. She's the only woman who could ever make me giggle and blush. She's also probably one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life. She said no, so I decided to tell her how I felt only when I thought I was leaving New Orleans for good after graduation. She ended our friendship in a publicly humiliating way, then offered to hang out in Florida (where I'd be for the summer), NY or Boston (my two choices for grad school) and Israel (where I was thinking of going for winter break). It's still a mystery.

2.) you can go back to school again, totally free, any school you want, you can study ANYTHING regardless of prerequisites: what would you study?

I've asked myself that many times. I'd really like to get a second master's or Ph.D. at some point. Let's see. I think the options were political science, physics, media studies, philosophy, or engineering. (Engineering was an aborted act of desperation and an attempt to find some way to get into space, maybe, possibly eventually just so I could say "Jews in spaaaaaaaaace" on a spacewalk.)

3.) woody allen has a great short story (called, i think, the kuglemas incident) in which his character is able to enter the world of any novel -- his character enters madame bovary and... then... enters madame bovary, if you know what i mean. what novel's world would you visit if you could?

Hmmmmmmmm... I don't actually read novels very often. I'm more of a non-fiction/short story girl myself. BUT probably some trashy lesbian novel where everyone gets laid by gorgeous supermodels. Sorry, I'll think up a better answer and get back to you.

4.) if you could go into space in a craft of some kind, and you'd be guaranteed to reach another solar system with intelligent life, but you would never be able to return to earth: would you do it?

No. I really don't need some smarter-than-the-earthlings aliens keeping me in a zoo for the rest of my life. Although, I've long dreamed of going into space.

5.) if you could ask any question in the universe, no matter how complicated or esoteric, and the magic-question-answerer would give you the correct answer, what would you ask?

42? Why a towel? Hmmmmm... Is there a G-d wouldn't do as that would still leave me wondering about far too many things. Maybe I'd ask for the unified theory that explains everything. Of course, that could conceivably end up answering the G-d question. Maybe I'd ask something stupid like "How many licks does it take?" just b/c I think too much knowledge all at once could be disastrous. Besides, who'd believe me when I tried to tell them that we're all living in a holodeck and you just have to find the right place to call for an arch.

13 Comments:

Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

wow, that was fast! good job. but where's the snarkiness???

12:05 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

I was kind of expecting a question or two that would put me on the spot. That's generally when the snark comes out. Of course, I'm also really tired. Maybe next time.

12:27 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Ooh, ooh, interview me!

1:34 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

There are SO many evil questions I can ask. Let me get back to you on that.

1:39 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Yeah, I think I just realized that. Maybe I've made a mistake.

No, I'm brave.

1:43 PM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

what kind of put-you-on-the-spot questions were you expecting? let's have an example...

9:59 AM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

I don't know if I can come up with a specific example. My "adopted" little bro has a habit of putting me on the spot with emotional questions, so I end up getting really snarky but that's just our relationship. Maybe: What's it like to be dying? or How do you feel like being ill? or whatever.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

okay, my grammar sucked. I meant "How do you feel about being ill?"

12:37 PM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

how 'bout "how do you feel about your slipping grammar?"

do you identify as "dying" -- i mean, more than just the average person is technically dying?

2:24 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

I don't know if that's my "identity" or anything. But I try to deal with the reality that my life probably won't last very much longer. I'm making plans as if it will. You never know what these new studies will come up with. But it's hard not to focus on the death part when I take pills every day just to keep me alive (pills with horrible side effects that definitely make me feel like I'm dying) or when I wake up in the night gasping, feeling like someone's reached into my chest and squeezed my heart HARD.

5:11 AM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

OH. Yes, definitely more than the average person is dying. Most people can assume that they'll live a long life and most of them won't be disappointed. Otherwise, death comes quickly and is altogether unexpected. I know that medical miracles aside, I won't live a long time. Those who suffer from my particular form of the disease (young women who go into severe arrythmia during spasm) have the worst prognosis. I read a study that tracked these kinds of patients and 40% died within the first two years of diagnosis.

5:14 AM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

well damn. that's pretty intense. i guess live hard and fight the idiocy while you can. you're doing a bang up job so far.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Well come on with it, woman! I'm waiting here!

The word verification for this comment is "yxqobok." It's fun saying some of this stuff out loud.

11:10 AM  

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