The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Boring!

Boring is where legends go to die.

I miss my old life, before illness left me socially isolated and, to be honest, completely fucking boring. I miss hearing people scream my name when I walk in to wherever. I miss going out and having my drink waiting for me before I get to the bar. I miss not actually having to pay for my own drinks. I miss people I don't know knowing just who I am and calling to me by name as I walk down the street. I miss doing all the wild things that courage, youth and health make possible. I miss hearing, "Wow! I can't believe you did that!" I miss being able to walk in alone but not being alone by the time I sit down. I miss having crazy people come banging on my door to drag me off to do something wild or silly or just plain mundane. I miss having all the potential in the world and all the time in the world to fulfill it. I miss being able to pick which gorgeous woman would be warming my lap for the evening. I miss being the center of attention, even the times that that meant people were trying to get me to blush. I miss making out with random hot chicks and dancing surrounded by beauty. I miss being able to Lord it over the guys, who really wanted to know the secret of how I got away with everything and they got away with nothing. I miss hearing "But she's Melinda!" as if that explained everything. I miss my birthday being worthy of the bartender shutting off the jukebox so a crowded bar could pay tribute to the wonderful event of my birth. I miss having a little cartoon of me in the pages of the local lesbian magazine. I miss interviewing rock stars and having my name on the masthead. I miss being so smooth that I could say it all, do it all and hear them tell the stories afterwards. I miss not popping pills and carrying around a wrist monitor and worrying about staying warm enough but not too warm. I miss... LIFE!

2 Comments:

Blogger sinister_n_evil said...

I miss directing and preforming in The Rocky Horror Picture Show... I miss the mischif of cast initiation and the chaos of virgin auctions... I miss being without responsibility and choosing wrecklessness but my life is no longer mine... it belongs to my kids...

but there is hope that one day we will experience remission of the affliction of responsibility...

9:31 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

I hear ya!

12:43 PM  

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