The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Holiday Fun with the Jewbians

First, let me wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, belated Hanukkah Tovah and Happy Tuesday. I think that covers everybody.

So, I have been to the Promised Land and it was filled with attractive, intelligent, interesting and hilariously funny Jewish lesbians (aka Jewbians). I've grown particularly fond of H., who was an ultra-Orthodox Jewess until age 21, V. aka my nerd-twin and another hockey-playing and very attractive Jewbian nerd who works in Aerospace whom I'll call R. because I've forgotten her name.

The night began at Tony Cheng's, a lovely Chinese restaurant in DC's Chinatown. We had a group of 25, so we were assigned to the big party hall upstairs, which we had all to ourselves. It was gorgeous, but it really felt like we were at some formal event. I kept saying we should just go with it and do the Hora. (We began the meet and greet downstairs before moving upstairs, where after a few moments H. walked into the room. Drool! And sat next to me at the table. Yeah, that wasn't distracting at all.)

The food was great. The three Tsingtao's I had were probably a bit much since I haven't had a drink in a queen's age, but I wasn't the only one drinking so I guess it was okay. I got the usual response when asked what I do for a living, which is for people to look really confused. When I describe what that means, the eyes generally glaze over. Then, there's always the issue with my name. Inevitably, someone will call me Melissa and I'll have to offer Mel as a compromise.

Anyway, we ended up telling loads of horrible kid jokes, exchanging tales of where we fit or break lesbian sterotypes and reminiscing about everyone's bat mitzvah parties and our emergence into lesbianhood. There was a brief convo on TV shows that completely lost me, but otherwise it was a great dinner conversation. The occasional bumping of H.'s legs against mine, again, didn't help. (For the record, it was a rather tight fit, so I doubt it was intentional.)

We moved on to drinks and dessert at S.'s house, where groups formed and splintered and formed again and conversation jumped all over the place. That's where I met V. and R. and the nerd fun began. Monty Python was, of course, the glue that binds the nerds as always. I love being able to tell the story of how this guy Eric and I walked down the Champs Elysees laughing down our noses French-like at each other and started screaming "Bring out your dead!" in Florence when the tour guide started talking about the plague. We're such horrible people.

Anyway, it was a grand old time and lasted until nearly midnight when the people who had taken the metro had to take the mad dash to the nearest station before the trains stopped running. V. and I will be in touch. H. will probably be in my dreams. Damn the not dating thing! (No, I haven't changed my mind.) And I'm sure I'll be getting to as many of these events as I can. (It really was a lot more fun than I can make it sound at the moment. The three Tsingtao's are dancing on my head.)

So, join us next time: Same Jewbian time, same Jewbian channel.

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