The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Friday, February 08, 2008

What's Up?

So, I haven't posted those pics I promised because I still haven't gotten around to uploading them to my computer. I will, however, give you one story from my vacation before going into the "Melinda Update" I know you've been dying for.

My little brother, Val, and his woman, Nicole, were celebrating their 8th anniversary, so I decided to take them and my nephew out for lunch. I was riding in the back with 4-year-old Val Jr., listening to him sing along with the hard rock coming out of the radio, when OUT OF NOWHERE he proclaims, "Bow Chicka Bow Wow! Shake the booty. Shake the booty." There are just waaaaaay too many things wrong with this picture.

First, he was wearing the most adorable black leather motorcycle jacket I've ever seen, a gift from Aunt Annie and "Uncle" Carl (aka The Troll). Second, he knew all of the lyrics to some majorly kickass hard rock tunes. Third, my FOUR-YEAR-OLD nephew said "Bow chicka bow wow!" Plus, he said it RIGHT and for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Unfortunately, I'm the "bad" aunt as in bad influence. (My nieces' and nephews' favorite bedtime story is one I made up about a royal family that literally explodes because they were too snooty to just fart already. Get it? Bad influence.) Anyway, while my brother, totally embarassed, tried to explain that his son had picked this untoward behavior up from television, I was cracking up. I thought it was so damned cute. What do you think?


I've formally concluded that the Louisiana post-Katrina environment was responsible for my heart spasms. I had nothing for weeks before my trip and nothing since but THREE somewhat major attacks during the one week I was there. I also had major sinus issues during and for two weeks after I got back. So, Louisiana sucks. I'm bringing a gas mask next time I go.

Work is good. I have a LOT of new responsibilities while still having the old responsibilities during the transition, so it's very hectic. But at least I'm usually not sitting at my desk ready to fall asleep like I was for a while there. I've decided I like committee meetings mainly because I don't have to think that much and I'm pretty much just sitting there rattling off the top of my head. I do that very well. Anyone ever notice how SLOWLY committees move to get things done? It would be driving me insane, but I've decided to just go with the flow and enjoy the break from running fast and hard all day.

Now that I'm utterly exhausted when coming home from work and I have this newfangled digital cable contraption, I have discovered GAY TV aka the Logo channel. It's very exciting, a little alien and so totally fucking gay I can't believe it. I feel a little bit old though since a big part of me wants to smoke a cigarette, swill some scotch and go off on some Gay-by about how there was only one show on television with a gay character when I came out. It was called Wimbledon and came on just once a year! And you had to watch it going up hill in the snow BOTH WAYS!

Anyway, I'm now madly in love with "Bad Girls" (a British drama about women in prison) and "Exes and Ohs" (the first lesbian half-hour comedy). I find gay reality shows just as tedious as the straight ones although they are a tad funnier. And either I'm losing my taste for sketch comedy or gay people just don't do it as well as the straights. (Okay, Fitzwilliam is damned funny. I'm very tempted to go around proclaiming that I want a vagina in a very "posh" British accent.)

I have two potential lesbian events lined up: Judy Gold at Theatre J in DC on February 21 AND Bitch at the Iota Club and Cafe in Arlington on March 20. Oh and they're potential as in I'll potentially be there. They're DEFINITELY lesbian events.

And, I'll probably have a rant coming soon about how SOME people think I'm not complete without a woman and they can just suck mine. But that's for another time.

See ya next time.

UPDATE: By the way, Bitch is the woman I accidentally hit on during an interview way back in 2004 during Bitch and Animal's farewell tour. So, I won't be trying for any meet and greets. That would be soooooooo embarassing.


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