The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Diary of a Sick Gay Woman: Part Chamesh

You probably won't be seeing me here for a while. The symptoms are becoming more frequent and more severe. The docs have changed my meds. So far, things still seem to be getting worse rather than better. I feel like hell warmed over. Fortunately, I still look divine! I went from a supposed 6 month free pass to constant contact with my cardiologist and a few visits just in the past few weeks. I AM NOT AMUSED.

Friday, October 20, 2006

What Your Computer Does While You're Sleeping

I always suspected that my icons have a more active social life than I do.

Friday, October 13, 2006


I really want to see this movie. I guess I'll have to settle for reading the script.

UPDATE: Apparently, the Freewebs site is frozen, so here's the wikipedia entry for Idiocracy. It is now available from Blockbuster online, so I guess I'll be seeing it soon. Still mad that I can't see it in the theatre.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Lightning and the Human Anus

There are so many sick jokes to be made about this, but I can't help thinking about how much I value my own anus and its complete inexperience with thousands of volts of electricity. All I can say is: Ouch!

Hey, I Called It!!!!!!

As my friends and I are fond of road trips, I thought I'd post the official rules for calling Shotgun. Personally, I prefer the "I'm taller than you are" approach. Works a lot more often than you'd think considering I'm only 5'6". It's even worked with people who are technically taller than I am. Thank goodness for dyke boots. hehe Occasionally, I must make use of the "I have a vagina" tactic. Yes, that's really pathetic, but it gets me the good seat. So, deal with it.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

HUMMINA!: Going Native, Baby!

Just wanted to share my obsession with the most beautiful Native Canadian actress alive, Alex Rice.

Not to be confused, of course with my two favorite Native American actresses:
Karina Lombard from "The L Word" and many, many great movies.

And the amazing Tsianina Joelson, also known as Varia, Queen of the Amazons, from Xena: The Warrior Princess.

Yes, I'm totally biased towards Native women, but can you blame me? Whew! My ancestors must have walked around with permanent.... ahem... smiles on their faces.

Diary of a Sick Gay Woman: Part Arba (That's four in Hebrew.)

The evening of Yom Kippur in the Year 5767 of the Hebrew Calendar. Known as the evening of October 1, 2006 to my goyish readers.
Yom Kippur was to begin at sundown. Yours truly was supposed to be leaving for temple in a half hour. Apparently, G-d had other plans.
In other words, I had a massive coronary artery spasm that sent my heart into overdrive. My heart rate went from 105 to 150 in 15 minutes, then began fluctuating wildly. I was also having what they call PVC's or premature ventricular contractions. And did I mention the excruciating burning sensation over my breast bone (mid-sternum for you med-literate types)? When I say burning sensation, I don't mean heartburn type burning. It's more like, putting your hand in boiling grease type burning.
Anyway, I called 911. Did the operator know what prinzmetal's syndrome is? Nope. Did the paramedics know what prinzmetal's syndrome is? Nope. Did the ER doctor know what prinzmetal's syndrome is? Nope. They had to call my cardiologist (at home, I'm presuming) to find out what the heck was going on.
I now have to take aspirin everyday to prevent a heart attack, see my cardiologist tomorrow to determine what we're going to do next, and live in fear of the angiogram that may be necessary soon.
My mom will come up from Mississippi to take care of me in the event that I have to have the angiogram. I'm hoping that the doctor can get enough info from the ECG taken in the ambulance. I REALLY do not want to have an angiogram. Due to my health history, the test would be EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. One woman in my support group FLATLINED on the table during one.
I managed to laugh my way through it yesterday. And the phone calls from family members and friends were GREATLY appreciated. I'd have probably gone insane otherwise. But I'm at work today and the terror is beginning to set in. I genuinely feel like crying at this point.
Remind me. What were the good parts about being Melinda?