The Cult of Melinda

The gAyTM is closed! No gay rights, no gay $$$!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

For Don........

Anna Torv will always be Alex to me!

Awesome Shiznit

Digital soaps

For all the people who think I have bad luck, read this.

For My Girls...

Cuz sometimes, it's true.

Nerd Romance

Okay, so it was originally created for "don't do drugs" type messages, but this bracelet is the shiznit. If only I'd known about this when I was still dating!

UPDATE: Rock on! There's a similar wave-form ring for when you nerds get married. And all kinds of other nerd jewelry.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Great Point!

I just read this about not bringing children to protests and I must say Amen! Let's leave the children out of it until they're old enough to actually understand what's going on.

Friday, March 27, 2009


I would totally eat that burger for Padma! Kashrut be damned!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

More Fun

Engrish Funny: Not Safe for Work. Nothing dirty really, but you might not want your coworkers wondering why you're cracking up alone in your cubicle.

Liquor Taxonomy

Movie Cliches

Delphion's Gallery of Obscure Patents


About a month ago, my coworkers kept trying to pull me away from my desk to check out this attractive, obviously gay Asian woman who came in. I was busy and missed her. Not that it would've done much good anyway, considering we're not exactly allowed to blatantly hit on people who come in to the office.

Anyway, a few days ago, I'm called up to the desk to help some one b/c everyone else was unavailable. It was the hot Asian woman looking for the coworker who'd helped her last time. I'm all super helpful and go get him for her. I was trying to just ask him for info on her account so I could help myself, but the freak left his lunch to help her. (I wonder why?)

Long story short, I realized later that my attire left much to be desired. Why? Although I usually wear standard professional dyke-wear, I had been too sick to wash clothes the night before. So, I went casual for only the second time in the 2 plus years I've worked here and wore some dark brown cargos and what my co-workers like to call my "warrior" shirt, a black silky shirt with a tiger and Chinese writing on it. Yeah, that goes over so well with the Asians. No wonder she gave me a strange look. Darnit!

Hint: When you're trying to subtly move in on a hot woman, DON'T wear something that could possibly be interpreted as insulting to her culture. Grrrrrr.....

Sunday, March 22, 2009

How I love being right...

In November, I said this:

Obama is a liar. Over and over again, Obama has changed his story and his stances on the issues. Call him on it and he denies he ever held the previous view, despite the existence of video, audio or written evidence.

and this:

Obama is for Obama and nothing else. From his revolving door for associates and friends who no longer serve his needs to the willingness to provoke old hatreds, Obama seems to care little about anyone and anything but himself.

Now, Obama has done this:

The exemption for already existing compensation agreements -- the exact provision that is now protecting the AIG bonus payments -- was inserted at the White House's insistence and over Dodd's objections. But now that a political scandal has erupted over these payments, the White House is trying to deflect blame from itself and heap it all on Chris Dodd by claiming that it was Dodd who was responsible for that exemption.

That's right. Obama is cannibalizing his own party, throwing a distinguished ally under the bus, and lying through his teeth (despite publically available evidence) all to save his own ass. It's good to be right, but how I wish I'd been wrong.

Special to Cult of Melinda: Nyah Nyah Nyah!

My Girls...

This is my adorable 21-year-old niece, Robin. She's hiding that high Choctaw forehead. We all have it.

This is her daughter, my first ever grandniece, Madison. Just a few months old and she's already deep in thought.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Ugh! I hate happy couples....

I really want to live in a lesbian-free zone now. As you know, I've sworn off dating and women for, well, the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I have a penchant for gay entertainment, like romantic comedies starring adorable real-life lesbians. Sometimes, I even torture myself by watching, I don't know, Ellen interviewing her wife. This is not good.

Happy lesbian couples, real or imagined, give me false hope for a brief moment before I remember what my real dating life was like and what my real dating life would be like if I decided to start dating again. It's like the crash you get after eating sugar.

With the happy straight couples, it's bad but not as much. I can always run down the list of ways that it's easier for straight couples to be happy in our society, like...

1. No closet.
2. More choices for dates.
3. More places you can go to meet people.
4. More socially-acceptable outlets for dating. (Office dating is complicated enough if you're straight. You DON'T want to deal with office dating if you're not.)

The list goes on and gets even more bitter, but I think you get the point. So, how do I stop myself from exposing my poor sensitive self to unrealistically happy lesbian couples without boring myself half to death with nothing to watch or read (entertainment-wise) other than icky straight people stuff?

Saturday, March 14, 2009


I was watching this b/c it's Yvonne Strahavski pre-Chuck, but the intro freaked me out. Rob has an Australian Doppelganger!

UPDATE: Even creepier, watch it with the sound off.

My "Kids" Are Funny Too

So, my 17-year-old nephew Anthony's got a phone number from a 23-year-old waitress. I'm stuck between "That's my boy!" and "That fucking whore is getting her ass kicked!"

Anyway, his 11-year-old brother's response to Anthony's conquest is: "So? I'm going to get a girl's number when we go to Disney World!"

UPDATE: I wonder if Disney knows it's a pick-up joint for the pre-pubescent set? I think that could be their new ad campaign. "Been hanging around the jungle gym since kindergarten and you STILL haven't met the right girl? Come to Disney World."

Best Line!

"Yes, all Asians are robots. And I have a USB port in my back to prove it."

Dara Nai, After Ellen senior writer

Monday, March 09, 2009

HAPPY NERD!!!!!!!!!

Summer Glau will be on The Big Bang Theory in less than 15 minutes! This is almost like the time they mixed white chocolate and peanut butter for the first time. Genius!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

I Lied

Okay, there's one more thing you should read. Salon has an excellent, snarky take on the changes in our political system and Obama's policies in relation to those changes.

If you read nothing else...

Read Glenn Greenwald's ongoing examination of the Obama administration's attacks on our constitution and the rule of law, all in the name of "the institution of the presidency." No, not the actual constitutionally-mandated institution of the presidency. That would be too liberal. Instead, Obama is seeking to preserve the expanded, illegally-constructed "institution of the presidency" brought to us by Bushco.

When, oh when, will the liberal chattering classes learn the difference between liberalism and centrist neoliberalism? When will they get that the centrist neoliberals are more than willing to throw the constitution, human rights and the rule of law under the bus for political expediency and power politics? Soon, I hope. It's been a couple of decades now since the DLC destroyed the influence of the left and liberal political philosophies in America and turned the Democratic Party into America's center-right party. Only the truly dense would take much longer to figure that out.

SPECIAL TO CULT OF MELINDA: Can I once again declare the superiority of my political understanding? Do I need to wait before I rub my prescience in the faces of the Obama personality cult? Can I brag now?

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Remember, Short Stuff

9AM Non-Zombie Zombies Are the Worst, Man!
Coworker #1: So did you like 28 Days Later?
Coworker #2: Well, I didn't like the zombies.
Coworker #1: Why?
Coworker #2: I don't know... They weren't really zombies. Zombies don't think; they don't strategize. That's what makes them zombies!

Water Street
New York City, New York
via Overheard in the Office, Mar 3, 2009

Cool Stuff

Scanwiches are making me hungry.

Robots! Skynet is coming.

Robot Fight

World War - 3D Animation @ University Of Hertfordshire 2008 from Digital Animation Herts Uni UK on Vimeo.

"That Jean-Luc Picard!"

All Games. All Free.

Shore Leave It's early this year! Sucks! I will get to a con one of these days!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Nerds of the World Unite!

Months ago, as the market started to wobble before falling down, we had to do some projections at my job. I told the boss that we were pretty much screwed as far as projecting went, because the black swan was flapping her wings and pooping on our heads. We would just have to hedge our bets. The black swan would come up often as we tried to do the impossible.

A few weeks ago, The Economist ran a piece where this big wig economist said that it wasn't just one black swan, it was a whole bunch of them and they were sticking around. We did the professional nerd version of a high five, verbally of course. Think I'm just a writer, do ya? Boooooya!

Short Stuff's Revenge

Deal with it, Unbeliever!

From the awesome

Shiznit... What am I doing?

I've been letting anonymous little peons bother me. Really, that's pathetic. Anyone of these little jerks would probably piss their pants and cry for their mommies and daddies if they ever had to face me in the real world where they can't hide behind pseudonyms and had to actually pay the consequences for their actions. Whatever their actual ages, these are just children screaming dirty words and stupid names, then running away like the cowards they are. It's fascinating really.

People use the excuse of "I wouldn't do this in real life" to justify what they do online. But "I wouldn't do this in real life" reveals just what they are: Cowards. Using anonymity to allow yourself to brutalize, stalk, harass and irritate is cowardice. It's no better than using a white sheet to cover up your identity while you burn crosses on people's lawns.

In real life, cowards are easy to handle. Fight back. Humiliate them. Make them piss their pants. Laugh really hard. Walk away and forget they exist.

But there are options. I realized today that I'm dying and fighting against pain and exhaustion daily. I still have more of a life than these people. That's pretty damned funny if you think about it. So, I'm just going to laugh. And walk away. Let them play with themselves from now on.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

One More Time, People

You have cute children. They say funny things. They do cool stuff like mastering this whole walking thing. Auntie Mel doesn't get to see these things in person because she lives far, far away. Auntie Mel wants video!!! Please?

Happy Square Root Day, Everybody!!!!!!

Monday, March 02, 2009

I Want a Wii

Been thinking about video games lately. Haven't played in years. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a Wii. Now, if my job just paid me enough to afford one. They suck! Okay, I guess they have to go cheap at some point, right?


So, now the Dems have their own version of the Taliban. Considering how often so-called "progressives" like to proclaim their educational credentials, you'd think they'd have better reading comprehension than a dyslexic five-year-old. But nope.

Melinda-bashing thread count for 2009: 5
Time since the origins of this nonsense: 2 1/2 years
Brain cell count amongst the anti-Melinda posters: 1.48
Being trashed by keyboard jockeys after 15 years of activism: Priceless!